Dear Strong Prison Wives: I am writing because, my daughters father is currently incarcerated and I find myself falling in love with him more and more through our letters, phone calls and email correspondence. We were together for a year when we had our daughter. After having her we split apart and I moved back to the west coast while he stayed on the east coast. We remained cordial fo the sake of our daughter as well as respect for one another. Before he went away we began to deal with the things that led us to split. Then he was incarcerated. In the mean time I had chosen not to date or see anyone because of my focus on myself with grad school as well as learning to be a new mom (my daughter is 1 1/2 now). But now I am not seeing anyone out of respect for him. We have expressed our love for one another. We have made plans to reconcile our relationship and try it again. But I am unsure if it is just “prison Talk” or should I stand by his word and continue to wait untill he returns home. He has also made an effort to get me involved with his family, when we were dating before he avoided this situation as much as possible. I am untterly confused on what I should do. I love this man with all my heart and just want to know, do I continue to stay or move on? -In Love With My Inmate

Dear In Love With My Inmate,

The best advice that we can offer you is to follow your heart. If your gut is telling you to wait, then you know you need to hang on until he comes home. However, if deep down on the inside you feel like its time to move on, then you need to follow that advice from within. You cannot hang on for him or for his family. Neither one of them can tell you what to decide; nor should the try to persuade you in either direction. Ultimately, you have to do what is right for YOU. Has he given you any reason to believe that his promises are dishonest and just “Prison Talk?” Is there validity to your concerns, such as dishonesty or infidelity in your past? On the other hand, is your fear of his “prison promises” possibly a story your subconscious is telling yourself to ease the pain of wanting to move on with your life? Before you make a definitive decision, we suggest that you do a great deal of soul searching to figure out where your apprehensions are stemming, if they are valid concerns and if you’d like to have a future with him. Once you are confident that you have done enough self reflection, you’ll have to communicate those thoughts to him. Work through all of your concerns and arrive at a decision together. Leave room for no regrets. No matter where you land, you can and will get through this part. Stay positive, stay strong. xo, Annette & Ro

 Members of Strong Prison Wives “Encouragement Entourage” provide each other various types of support for questions related to having a loved one in prison. Our help may take the form of relation personal experiences, providing empathetic understanding, relaying and evaluating relevant information, and establishing connections within our social network.

Strong Prison Wives Mentors are hand picked and display the necessary characteristics to encourage and empower our community. Our mentors offer support through empathy and compassion; they are encouraged to administer “tough love” when necessary. Our Encouragement Entourage is a safe haven to ask valid questions and share concerns about relationships with incarcerated loved ones.

What is not provided in our Encouragement Entourage
  • At this time, Strong Prison Wives does not have any medical or legal professionals on staff. We refrain from answering any questions related to prescription medications, drugs, rehab or any legal, case materials.
  • Prison procedures, rules and regulations vary between facilities; county, state and federal. Our Encouragement Entourage is not a resources section. Questions specific to prison policies will not be answered here. Strong Prison Wives strongly encourages our members to contact the facility with your specific questions.
  • Strong Prison Wives does not promote illegal activity, questions involving or alluding to illegal activity will not be answered.
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35 Comments

  1. Avatar of Carol Saunders
    April 19, 2012, 11:25 pm

    Hi! I am new here and just joined the site today. I just wanted to let you know that I am a Nurse, so if anyone has any health related questions about themselves or inmate I’d be happy to help! : )

    • Avatar of StrongWife
      April 20, 2012, 8:28 am

      Welcome Carol, its great to have you! Thank you so much for offering to help with health related questions. I’m sure you’ll be taken up on that in the very near future. Have a wonderful day! xo, Ro

    • Avatar of Tanya Lynch
      April 20, 2012, 4:38 pm

      This is great to know. Thanks.

    • Avatar of CMG
      CMG
      September 24, 2012, 12:26 am

      Hi Carol, it is very nice to know you are willing to offer advice. My husband is currently fighting colon cancer (stage 0) at a very young age (31 years old). This disease is a battle as it is but for him to have to take this battle from behind bars its unimaginable. Do you have any advice for the both of us. how to deal and how i can console him.

    • Avatar of Stephanie
      October 16, 2012, 1:23 pm

      Here’s an odd one for you! My bf’s ears will turn bright red every so often for no apparent reason. He’s for the most part healthy and active. He does however have heart disease in the family and after a blow to the head he now occasionally has seizures. I’ve searched for a reason for the ear thing but can’t find one.

      Stephanie

      • Avatar of StrongWife
        October 17, 2012, 4:46 pm

        That’s so interesting Stephanie. Has he informed medical of the red ears issue? I’m curious what they’d have to say (if anything).

        • Avatar of Stephanie
          October 21, 2012, 11:01 pm

          I’m not sure if he has or not. If he hasn’t, I’ll make sure he does when he gets home!

    • Avatar of Vickie Lani
      March 1, 2013, 7:02 pm

      Hello Carol, I just married my Husband, David, the 22nd of Feb. Happy Day for the both of us. David is serving life with out. He has been in for 34 years. My question is, he has a heart beat that skips. Some days more so than others. He was told to cut out caffeine and to slow down the exercises. That is it. We both are very worried about him. His father passed from a faulty vulvae when he was 45. David is 50. I have felt his pulse and this skip. Now that we are married he has some one out here with some pull but for the prison to pay for a cardiologist???? We don’t know. Also they do not sell aspirin at his prison. What can i say to him to help him not worry so? Thank you and the best to you. Vickie Lani

    • Avatar of Reneka
      March 19, 2013, 11:29 pm

      thanks Sandra (smiles)

  2. Avatar of kathy
    April 28, 2012, 2:43 pm

    Hello I just joined the site today…I am excited to get to know the site and know that there are other woman out there that I can get support from

    • Avatar of StrongWife
      April 28, 2012, 10:35 pm

      Hi Kathy! Welcome to SPW!! Its great to have you! Look around, get comfortable with the site and please feel free to let us know what you think! xo

  3. Avatar of Debbie Stojak
    June 3, 2012, 8:07 pm

    Hi
    Just joined this site. Our lives are not an easy life. Any support is a great help in our situation. Good Job…Thanks…

    • Avatar of StrongWife
      June 3, 2012, 10:15 pm

      Hi Debbie!! Welcome to our SPW family. Its great to have you on the site.

    • Avatar of Reneka
      March 19, 2013, 11:31 pm

      (Smiles) I can relate to that Ms. Stojak, you keep your faith in GOD he will show you the way.

  4. Avatar of suzy n
    June 27, 2012, 4:15 pm

    Hello ladies. I love your site and videos so far, thank you for starting something like this. I’ve always felt we’re a misunderstood bunch and am looking forward to more posts!

  5. Avatar of Tamarah Brower
    July 7, 2012, 7:42 pm

    hi just joinned the group today. I am loving the sight and the fact that others have made it thank u

  6. Avatar of StrongWife
    July 7, 2012, 10:43 pm

    Hi Suzy & Tamarah! Its wonderful to have you both aboard! Welcome to our SPW family. xo

  7. Avatar of Tara
    August 26, 2012, 8:21 pm

    Hello…just joined the site today. Very nervous and need some guidance with visitation, phone calls, sending money etc. Today is merely 24 hours in lockup. Still unsure how many months to go, awaiting hearing. Need a lot of support and encouragement, please!

  8. Avatar of StrongWife
    August 26, 2012, 9:08 pm

    Hi Tara, Its great to have you aboard. So glad you found the site so early in your journey. We are all here for you. Our videos should be able to help you and keep you informed. If you have questions about your specific state, your best bet would be to post a question on our FB fan page http://www.facebook.com/strongprisonwives. Please feel free to ask away. Stay strong. xo, Ro

  9. Avatar of Nikki
    September 5, 2012, 8:32 pm

    Hi everyone, I just joined today. This is an awesome website, I’m looking forward to exploring it alot more also reading all the encouraging words we all will be sharing with one another because as we all know being a prison wife fiance gf etc we don’t always get positive feedback from others only the one that are in the exact same shoes as ours will understand.
    -Nikki

  10. Avatar of Lexy
    September 8, 2012, 1:42 am

    Hi everyone!! I am so happy to have found this site. I very much look forward to getting acquainted with other women who understand what it is like to be in this situation! Not a day goes by that I don’t think of and feel for each and every one of us and the men that we love!! Best wishes to all of you!

  11. Avatar of Mrs. Mobley
    December 29, 2012, 3:02 pm

    Hello I am Mrs. Mobley and I am new to this site and about to be a new inmate wife next month. I am starting my own series of you tube videos about the everyday life of a prison wife its going to be called prison wives New York anybody have any feed back or suggestions please feel free to email me stayfresh781@yahoo.com. I would like suggestions on what a women should wear to her jail wedding.

    • Avatar of StrongWife
      December 29, 2012, 3:27 pm

      Good luck with your YouTube videos…lmk if I can help you w/ anything. I had a channel for a while but decided for personal reasons, it was best to dissolve it. Welcome to SPW, we’re so happy you found your way to the site. xo, Ro

  12. Avatar of regina
    January 6, 2013, 3:45 pm

    Hello…I am new to the site as of TODAY…,My husband is an inmate in Illinois..has been gone since August with no known outdate…Our children and I miss him like crazy…I am so very thankful to have found this site…I need all the support I can get…so Thank you all in advance

  13. Avatar of brittany
    January 27, 2013, 11:38 pm

    Hey! Today is my first day to this site so excited have so many unanswered questions to ask other prison wives… I need help… Im a young women…. and its really hard only been a prison gf and fience for 4 months… Please anyone free feel to leave me some advice.. THANK YOU!

  14. Avatar of StrongWife
    January 28, 2013, 8:02 pm

    Shout out to the new ladies. Welcome to SPW, we’re so glad you made your way here. Make sure to also check out our fb page. There’s a lot more action over there. Lots of love to you. xo, Ro

  15. Avatar of Anne Laughlin
    January 30, 2013, 9:06 am

    I’m new here and to the whole prison thing. My fiancé and I were together a few years ago, he strayed we broke up. But we’ve come together again, his release date is Febuary 02, 2014 from his confinement here in California. But Idaho (the area we both were living when we met)has a commitment hold on him for possibly another year. We’ve been back together since July 2012, he’s 2 1/2 hours from me and I go see him at least twice a month, this is the hardest most emotional thing I’ve ever done. His entire family has given up on him, he doesn’t ask me for anything. We are planning on getting married. I have nobody to talk to because most don’t understand and judge me. I never stopped loving him and it hurts me when all everyone else sees is a convicted felon :( … I never thought I’d be a “prison wife”

    • Avatar of deborah21
      February 4, 2013, 10:49 pm

      I understand where your coming from. You have to stay strong and stay by your man side. It gets hard but we have to stay strong from them. At the end of the day they need us my husband family ain’t here for him they don’t write him see him or put money on his books they even don’t call and check on they grandchild…

  16. Avatar of deborah21
    February 4, 2013, 10:45 pm

    I’m new here my husband had to do 6 months in prison and 3 months in a halfway house even tho that’s less time then most have but I still miss him a lot we have a 2 year old daughter and she miss her daddy so much. When i go visit him he seems so angry they made them shave they head and hair on their face. I didn’t even notice him. I miss him a lot I really don’t have no one to talk to so i hope u ladies well be here for me…

  17. Avatar of Becki Bradham
    February 7, 2013, 9:30 pm

    Just found this site and eager to learn more about it. Really having a hard time right now dealing with my fiance’ being in jail now for 7 months. I know God has a plan and this is actually a blessing but is still so hard sometimes. Becki

  18. Avatar of StrongWife
    February 9, 2013, 11:58 am

    Shout out to all of the new ladies. Glad to have you. Don’t forget to check us out on FB, there is a lot more activity on our fan page. http://www.facebook.com/strongprisonwives.

  19. Avatar of Aracelli Carter
    February 10, 2013, 7:30 pm

    To inscribe my visions is all I can do to warm your heart. To tell you what runs through my mind at times are only fragments that I would like to accomplish. Those times that are supposed to be sensual and magical. The touch, the feel of your spouse, the sensation and the constant explosions that we are suppose to endure. The silkiness of my skin anticipating to unite with yours. That initially kiss, that will last more than that second, that we are so detestably given. The holding of the hands that we are so deprived from, conveying through the touch, the feel of wanting you and if only the possibilities through your hands, I would make love to you. These are just only temporary visions of my essence until we are united once again. Love your wife…Mrs. Carter.

  20. Avatar of judith
    February 25, 2013, 4:19 pm

    I am couldn’t agree with you more!!!! thanx everyone… love yah lots

  21. Avatar of Reneka
    March 19, 2013, 11:45 pm

    Hello all (smiles) just wanted to say thank you for all of your support, guidence, care and love. It means so much more then you can ever imagine. It give a younf 22 years old women like myself the same hope that she had 5years ago when her husbasnd was first incarsarated. I’ve never came across a site that has touched my heart genuinely. By far there is more then sucess that the SPW site will endure. YOU SAVE LIVES, RELASTIONSHIPS, GIVES US FAITH, HOPE & LOVE. I can’t thank you all enough. Although this is only my third day on the site I must say I love it already. Much Respect to you all and your families. I’m very appricative to be

    • Avatar of Reneka
      March 19, 2013, 11:48 pm

      a SPW member and I appricate all your welcoming and open arms. (smiles) Much Love & Respect to you and your familys. P.S.

      Mrs.LeeLuv #Mrs.246923

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